An Unheroic Hero
by yumihat
Summary: Heather is very lazy and doesn't know anything when it comes to being a hero. When a dragon rips out her heart, eats it, and she is suddenly called the "Arisen", however, she is prepared to fight...or at least try to fight...her way to the dragon for revenge.


**So...Decided to write another humorous tale because I'm just a schmutz who enjoys humor.**

**This time its about a game I am currently obsessed with but haven't completed yet! Isn't that wonderful!**

**Of course it is.**

**Have fun.**

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My name is Heather. I'm a wanderer. A mysterious traveler who is respected by everyone. People create parades in my honor. I've slain so many beings, I am feared by goblins and bandits everywhere. The knight with a dark past. That's what they call me...

Okay. So, most of that wasn't true.

...Alright, you got me. None of it was true. My name is Heather though, honest. I guess I've broken the whole trust thing between the narrator and the reader, huh? It's kind of you're fault for assuming you could trust me in the first place.

Not like I'd expect you to believe me when I say this but, I'm going to tell you a bit about me. If your mind seriously finds it impossible to believe me now though, I guess you're just going to ignore this and create your own character, aren't you? Can't say I blame you. Anyways, I have short, black hair and blue eyes. I'm a bit scrawny, but I think I would look weird if I was all buffed out. I don't have any scratches or scars (unless you count the paper cut I received last week). I plan on receiving some pretty cool-looking scars though. Whenever I actually get a life and go on an adventure. I've just been so lazy recently...

In fact, I am so lazy, I was wandering the beach for a decent spot to fall asleep. Sure I could've stayed at an inn or something, but then I'd have to walk and...well you get it.

"Dragon!" Someone shouted. That one word made everyone scatter off of the beach, screaming their heads off as it destroyed buildings, crushing a few bystanders with the debris. When the humongous dragon finally landed on the beach, it's wings sent a huge wind that almost sent me flying backwards. Some soldiers ran towards the beast, swords in hand, and tried to fight off the beast. Sadly, their efforts only ended with their lives being taken. I could've run away. Actually, I probably should have. However, somewhere in my mind, I wanted to be a hero. So, I picked up a sword from a fallen soldier and rushed toward the massive dragon without any fear. I heroically-

I'm sorry. I really shouldn't tarnish our trust any further, should I? Honestly, I lifted the sword quite awkwardly, having never lifted a sword before. Also, when I ran toward the dragon, I almost tripped (which would have been horrible considering I had a sword) and I was too scared to actually do anything heroically. I did run to the dragon though. Honest. I even swung the sword at him a few times. Unfortunately, the dragon didn't even seem like it was getting hurt. Just when I thought my life was going to end, he hit me and sent me flying so I was on the beach's shore, unable to move. I felt like a turtle who had been flipped over. How pathetic is that?!

Then, the dragon spoke some langue I didn't understand. Maybe it's a dragon language or Latin or some made-up thing...I don't know. Next thing I knew though, I got my heart ripped out and eaten by a dragon-literally. Such a great way to start a story!

I know, I know. Hard to believe right? Especially after I've lied to you so much already? Well I assure you, I am trying my best to be truthful from now on. If I was lying right now, I'd say that I killed the dragon before it ripped out my vital organ and I stood on top of its head, laughing.

But did that really happen? No. I got my heart ripped out and eaten.

Anyways, naturally, I passed out (surprise, surprise). When I woke up-that's right, I woke up-I was in someone's house and my chest was in quite a bit of pain. Okay, a lot of pain.

I raised my hand and touched my chest, trying to relieve some of the pain. Out of nowhere, my wound starts glowing. A voice echoed in my head. "If you would face me..." I quickly removed my hand, scared by these strange events. Now curious, I moved my hand back to my wound. It glowed and the voice returned. "Take arms, Newly Arisen." I slowly removed my hand again, now wondering what the voice was talking about. I looked around the room and my eyes spotted weapons sitting neatly on a table. I walked over to the table and stared at the weapons. I didn't want to steal, but when a mystical voice tells you to, you're going to steal.

I picked up a mage's staff and examined it. I've never been one for magic. In fact, I barely know anything about how to use magic. Knowing this, I knew that being a Mage definitely wasn't a good choice for me. Then, I tried to lift a sword and shield. The shield was easy enough to lift, but the sword...not so much. I couldn't travel like that. Not when I could barely lift my weapon.

Then, I saw it. The perfect role for me. I picked up a bow and some arrows, setting it on my back. Then, I picked up the two short swords that sat near the bow, practically screaming my name. I tested out my new weapons by striking the air a couple of times with my swords and I couldn't help but smile. Perfect. Now all I had to do was get stronger and find that dragon that ate my heart! Simple, right? No.

Knowing that this was going to be difficult, I decided to begin my journey immediately. I walked out of the room, finding two people speaking. Not wanting to get caught listening in on their conversation, I hid behind a wall.

"You say it's left a glowing scar?" A man's voice questioned. I smiled. I finally have a scar! It even has a cool story with it! Not a lame one like "I fell down the stairs..."! As a bonus, it even glows and talks!

"Yes. The wound has closed, and the worst seems to have passed, but..." A girl replied. "Her heart lies silent!" I almost wanted to scream at them and say a dragon ate it, but I remained quiet.

I placed my hand on my wound again and it glowed yet again. "If you would face me..." The voice once again echoed through my head. I removed my hand, already tired of hearing the voice.

"You're sure o' this?" The man asked. It's kind of hard to mistake a glowing wound for something else, I thought to myself. I suppose that it was understandable to not be able to hear a heart beat, but if you've been healing the injured, you aren't going to mistake silence with a heartbeat.

"...Yes..." She muttered. I was hoping to find out something I didn't know from this conversation, but all they spoke about was my wound and how it magically glowed. Oh, they also talked briefly about how the dragon made the world crazy or something, but you probably figured that. Anyways, the guy left to help some of the injured and I showed myself to the girl. Surprisingly, we actually knew each other...kinda... Why is this surprising? Because, as stated earlier, I'm lazy and lifeless. I don't exactly get out much, if you know what I mean. Anyways back to the girl, her name is Quina. That's pretty much all I know about her...sorry for wasting your time.

So, let's skip the character development for Quina because I seriously don't know anything else about her. She takes in injured people and heals them apparently, but that's it. "You should be abed. I wish you did not strain yourself so." She carefully stated.

"I'm going to fight a dragon, okay? Okay. Bye." I stated, no longer able to listen to the stranger's concerns for me. It was just...weird. She was a little too nice. She didn't even yell at me for taking her weapons! I was holding them right in front of her!

I can't complain, I guess. After all, I'm currently walking down a path to the capital, Gran Soren. I feel safe with the weapons, even though there was nothing to fear as long as I stuck to the path. It'll take a while to get to Gran Soren, and I'm aware that it's going to be difficult. I'm determined to find that dragon though and if that means I'm risking my life, I'll do it.

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**Aren't I just amazing at summing up introductions? No, not really. It was a good effort though.**

**Okay so please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD, do not put spoilers in reviews or what not. I really don't want to know what's going to happen so I can continue to enjoy this wonderful game. Okay? Okay.**

**Bye.**


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